I Believe

After I said my goodbye to my daughter, Abigail, Karen and I went to Lady of Lourdes Hospital to see my husband, Johnny. The drive there was a little long. My sister, Agnes, took care of letting the family know about everything.

I remembered being in shock. I couldn’t believe my daughter past away. I was not going to see her again until the funeral. So many thoughts flooded my mind. Like what am I going to tell the kids tonight? Am I strong enough for my children? I had so many questions.

I had no idea how tough this was going to be. This was only the beginning of a new season I had to walk out. It was not going away fast. More tests will come, hard decisions to be made and a spiritual battle to fight. This new season was going to mark my life and show me who I really am in Christ.

As I entered the hospital, they immediately told me not to tell Johnny his daughter died. He was in critical condition. Quickly I had to wipe away my tears and pull myself together before entering his room. I saw my husband with a halo on his head to prevent more damage. When he saw me, he moved his arms a little to show me he was okay. He couldn’t talk, because tubes were down his mouth. His eyes seem desperate with lots of questions. I knew he was worried. He had to be thinking, “If I ended up like this, how are my kids?” I had to be strong.

Pastor Jacob was with me as I entered his room. He assured my husband the church will take care of the family. He told him to get better for his family. Then the doctors walked in and told me all his injuries, which were many. He told me that Johnny was paralyzed from head to toe. If he moves it’s only spasms. He will not be able to talk. There were so many tubes attached to him. I was thinking, “Lord what will happen to us? What will to happen to my family?” At this time, they were thinking he will not make it.

I remembered hearing clearly the voice of the Holy Spirit, just like when He told me to tell Abigail that it is okay for her to go with Jesus. He clearly told me as I walked in the room, for Johnny, you have to fight. There’s a battle over his destiny. As the days went by there were good and bad days.

Three times they told me he was going to die. The last time his whole body shut down only his heart was beating. Pastor Rob was preparing me for the worst. I told him, “No, Johnny is not going to die.” I heard from God and was not going to back down. Pastor Rob said, “If that is what you believe we are standing with you.” The doctor asked me to choose what to do if everything shuts down. Do you want to revive him or not? I said yes of course. I want to do everything we can to keep him alive.

I went to the restroom to get away to pray. It’s hard to stand believing when doctors, nurses and others are telling you the opposite. Especially when his condition was proving the doctors were right.

I was alone and said, “God what’s happening? You told me he is going to live. That for Johnny, everything will be against him and that I was going to have to fight. I have been standing and fighting for his life. Every time they wanted to unplug him I said no.” The Lord answered me clearly “Who is in charge here you or I, because if it’s I…you don’t have to revive him”. Right there and then I understood He wanted me to stop trying to control the situation. I just needed to believe and let Him do the work. This was not a medical battle, but a spiritual battle. I came out of that restroom with more faith. I told the doctor, “I am changing the orders. You don’t have to revive him. Johnny is not going to die.” They looked at me like I was a crazy lady. Obviously, Johnny did not die.

During the two months Johnny was in ICU, I gave birth to Legend, went to my daughter’s funeral and I was packing up my home to move to an apartment. We had Abigail’s funeral on her birthday, May 14th. There were around 400 people in attendance. Over 50 people accepted the alter call to become believers in Jesus Christ. So many re-dedicated their lives. We celebrated her home-going and we knew she was having an amazing time, because she was home with Jesus celebrating her birthday. Months before the accident, Abigail wrote down on her calendar for this day, “The best birthday ever.” She was right!

We told Johnny a couple of days before Father’s Day about Abigail going home with the Lord. He took it like a loving father would, with his body shaking and crying. With his lips he mouthed the words “My Baby” over and over again. He was in disbelief that this was all happening to me behind the scenes. Every time I walked into his room God gave me strength and peace to keep it together for Johnny’s sake. He hasn’t seen the kids since the car accident. On Father’s Day we got a pass to bring the kids and he met Legend for the first time. He was a month old and looked just like him. Shortly after Johnny was transferred four hours away to the city of Slidell to a Rehab Center.

In this blog I want to make a point that is important to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. He will guide your every step. My faith has grown so much to believe in the impossible. We have to be child-like and believe in what the Lord says He will do for us. The Bible tells us that He will work everything out for the good of those who love him. He says He will never leave us. He says ask and pray for everything. We just need to claim His promises all over our lives and believe. I had to believe even if everyone around me didn’t. I had to stand firm on my promises when everything around me was falling apart.

There’s so much to say about Johnny’s part of the testimony to share in just one blog. I will have a couple of more blogs to tell about the time he was in ICU and in Slidell rehab. The Lord taught me so much in the months leading to Johnny’s homecoming.

#Enjoy #MoreToCome #ThisIsBetterThanGossip! #Ivette

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Hurry Up and Wait

Genesis 1:31 and 2:3 (NASB)

God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

Thus the heavens and the earth were completed, and all their hosts. By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.

One thing I do not miss about being in the military is the hurry up and wait mentality.  We will be in a rush to complete a project just to sit around for hours.  You feel like what was the point to rush.

Today we do the same. We rush to work, family time, eating and our microwaves.  We forgotten what it means to wait.

Waiting is reflecting.  God created the world and he behold.  Behold is to wait and be amazed at what just happened.  No rushing, just living in the moment.

Waiting is confessing.  God blessed the day.  Blessing is confessing how you feel.  Talk to God and release how you feel and find a trusting person to share your feelings.

Waiting is separating. God sanctified the day.  Separate some time for yourself to mourn, to laugh, to shout, to dance, to sing and to rest.

Waiting is resting. God rested from all His work.  To truly rest our body, we need to take time for our soul and spirit.  Sit back reflect, talk out past and present feelings, get away and digest to liberate your soul and spirit.

If you need professional counseling to help you find rest.  Speak to our friends at The Kitchen Table Counseling & Life Coach Services.

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You Make Me Brave

This is probably going to be the hardest blog for me. There is so much I want to share. So much beauty and pain all together. It will take me days to share everything about Abigail. This is the point I believe the Holy Spirit wants to make.

I did not lose my daughter, she went HOME with the LORD. This has been the greatest pain in my life. I don’t think I will get over Abigail going HOME with the LORD. After all I am human. I miss touching her hair, kissing her face, hearing her voice, shopping with her and so on. Those things will be missed forever. A Mother will always miss her child, but with the Lord everything changes. I have peace beyond my understanding. I can’t describe it, but I feel it. I don’t know how people do it without my Father.

Let me start from the beginning. On May 1st, 2013 I get several phone calls. I realized that my family were in a car accident. They were divided into two hospitals. It was clear that I needed to go see Abigail first.

I make it to the Hospital. They took me to a room where you sign your life away about all the procedures they want to perform. The doctor says I will attempt to fix what I saw. I don’t think she will walk again. That’s all I heard. Everything else went to a blur. I was looking at the doctor, but couldn’t hear what he was saying. Everything slow down. My heart beat was fast. He proceeds to tell me I can go see Abigail before she goes in to the operation room. She was unconscious because of the medications. I only had a couple of minutes before they take her away. The Holy Spirit tells me to speak to her. Let her know is okay if she want to go with JESUS.

There were nurses and all kinds of people around her ready to go. I get close and everyone around me fades away. I focus on Abigail and start speaking this words: Abigail – Papi, Mami, EJ, and Zoei love you very much. We are here for you. I know that you are strong. If you want to fight we are here for you all the way. I also want to tell you that Papi and I dedicated your life to the Lord. You belong to Him. If you want to go is okay you belong to JESUS. As I kissed her, suddenly her hand and head moved up towards me. That was the last time she tried to communicate with me. I know without a doubt that she was trying to tell me, I hear you mom. I looked up and everyone in that room was crying surprised that she even moved towards me. They soon said no Abigail stay still sweetie you have to stay still as they rolled her away.

Waiting was not easy. Not knowing about Johnny and EJ was killing me. They would not tell me anything over the phone regarding Johnny’s condition. Soon, I received news that EJ was fine just bruises and needed to rest. The pager went off, it was time to receive news about Abigail. The doctor starts explaining the procedures. He said that’s when we lost her. He kept talking about the operation without stopping or any hesitation. I said wait… what did you just say? What do you mean? Then he said she died. She is no longer with us. I told him, I don’t want to know about the procedures. I know Abigail is with the Lord.

All my insides felt like they were gone, I felt empty. I remember closing my eyes breathing crying out to the Lord. You took her … I need YOU, all I have is YOU!!! I told the Doctor I want to see my baby. He said give me a couple of minutes to prepare her.

I walk in the room with family and Spiritual family. My whole focused was on Abigail. I get close to her and start talking about how proud I am of her, we love her, she deserves the best (heaven), I will make sure Legend knows all about her. I spoke for a while some things I remember and others I don’t. I just remember that I was looking at her. She looked beautiful, peaceful, like if she was only sleeping. I remember asking if I could hold her. I wanted her close to my chest like when she was born. I was 8 month pregnant at the time. It was hard for me to even think that Legend will not meet his Sister. After I was done P. Jacob said I needed to go see about Johnny. He will take care of Abigail’s arrangements.

This blog is called you make me BRAVE for this reason. Three months later I spoke to Abigail’s paramedic. This is a short version:

  • When I went to the car Abigail was alert. She was not crying. We asked her if she could help us get her out of the car, but she couldn’t feel her legs. So they said okay we are taking you out. The paramedics didn’t think Abigail was in critical conditions, because she was alert. Only her stomach bothered her. She gave information like my number and that she attended Our Savior’s Church. They get her to the ambulance when she said clearly 3 time you need to let me go (let me die). Abigail didn’t have scratches, cuts, or anything that you could see. She knew it was her time to go HOME with the LORD. She made peace that she was leaving with JESUS. The paramedic said, no you are not going to die. We are going to make it to the hospital.
  • While examining her, she said to the staff that if they knew JESUS. They said, yes… do you want us to pray for you. She said, no… I am going to be fine. Please pray for my father, brother, and family. Everyone said that she looked peaceful. She never complained of any pain except her stomach hurt a little. She never cried or felt anxious about anything. The paramedic said, your daughter touched my life and I am forever changed. I had people in the ambulance that were okay, but were screaming and crying not to let me die. Abigail was the total opposite.

Abigail was bleeding internally, because of the seatbelt. She had internal damage that were unrepairable. That’s why the doctor said, I will attempt to fix what I saw. Hearing the paramedic brought confirmation of when the Holy Spirit told me – to let her go. Tell her that is okay if she wants to go HOME with JESUS. There is so much more I can share of the spiritual side. God confirmed and gave revelation of how He was working everything out. I continue to have some awesome experiences with the Lord regarding Abigail. All of this gives me the peace beyond my understanding. I can’t wait to share with you about my heavenly experiences.

Abigail was BRAVE to know she was going HOME. She faced death with courage knowing that God is in control. God makes me BRAVE everyday to walk out the unknown.

You make me BRAVE, You call me out beyond the shore into the waves.
You make me BRAVE, No fear can hinder now the promises you made. (Bethel Church)

My next blog is about Johnny.

#Enjoy #MoreToCome #ThisIsBetterThanGossip! #Ivette

GET TEXT ALERTS: Text “Yes” to 337-205-2236 and we will send an update of future blogs.

It Is Well

I didn’t have the words to say nor did I know the way I felt. It was like a dream. I will wake up soon. Suddenly, I heard the words that explained and said exactly what I was feeling. It is well with my soul.

I told my Heavenly Father to do whatever You want in my life, it is okay with me. I know in due time; You will turn everything around for me, because You love me. It is well with my Soul!!!

In two weeks:

  • My daughter, Abigail, went home to be with the Lord (May 1, 2013)
  • My Husband was paralyzed from head to toe and almost died
  • My Son EJ was in the ER at Lady of Lourdes (He is a Miracle)
  • My Husband & I lost our jobs
  • I knew we couldn’t keep our Home
  • Plan a Funeral (May 14, 2013)
  • Legend was born 5 weeks early (May 11, 2013)
  • Legend & I in ICU at Womans & Children

My life will never be the same again. These are just the headlines, it does not even cover the details. In between it all, we had to plan a funeral and make sure we had what we needed for Legend. We had to tell EJ & Zoei that Abigail went home with the Lord. I had to pack up and look for a place to stay. Per doctors’ order; I had to wait to tell my husband about Abigail passing, because he was in critical condition. I had to make some tough, executive and life-altering decision for my family.

I did not know I was this strong until strong was the only option I had. Through it all we were not alone. Like I mentioned in my last blog, we have loving and helpful people in our lives. My heavenly Father was there every step of the way. I never awaken from what I thought was a dream. I continued to walk this Spiritual Journey the Lord has planned for my family. I wake up everyday trusting in Him and knowing that He will work it out.

Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you

Through it all, through it all, it is well

Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you and it is well with me.

Let go my soul and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know His name

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. (Bethel Church)

I will be sharing on each of those headlines on the blogs that follow. Keep reading for this is getting good. My Master always finish what He starts and He does everything with excellence.

#Enjoy #MoreToCome #ThisIsBetterThanGossip! #Ivette

Divine Providence

Genesis 22:8 Abraham said, “God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” So the two of them walk on together.

It is difficult for a finite mind to comprehend the infinite mind of God. He fashion the world in six days. Putting in place processes to keep the world and the human body going. Directing future events to fit His ultimate plan, this is known as the providence of God.

God commanded a burnt offering from Abraham on a mountain side. The usual practice was to use a lamb, goat or ram. This time he was directed to use his beloved son. This was the most challenging request he ever received from the Lord. He knew in the end all will be well. When his son ask him where is the lamb, he responded “God will provide for Himself the lamb…” After Abraham showed his faith, he found a ram and used it for the offering.

We will go through some tough times in our life, some life changing events. What we don’t see while we are in the midst of it, how God is at work or already worked behind the scene. On May 1st 2013, I was in a terrible car accident and broke my neck. I was told my body will not move from the neck down. My oldest child passed away hours later. I do not know why God permitted this, but I do know He was working things out to prepare us.

Annual family vacation is usually in the summer. The last couple of years we will go to San Antonio to check out the sea animals in Sea World. The kids love it, especially petting the dolphins. I started a new job that allowed me to take an early vacation in March. We had a great time together. Little we knew this was our last vacation with Abigail.

Family gatherings. About two weeks before the accident, we had family from Texas come visit. We barbeque, play games and just enjoyed our visit together. A year prior, we had some falling out with the family and this impacted my children. The beauty is to see the family reconciled before the tragedy happen. My mother-in-law and her husband surprised us with a visit the weekend before the accident. My mother-in-law was grateful to spend one last time with her beauty.

The birth of Legend. I lost my job on October 5th 2012. The next morning, I decided to share with my children why I will be around more until I found another job. We sat them down and I said, “I have something important to share with you”. Abigail quickly replied, “Mami’s pregnant!” My wife and I laughed at each other and I said, “No, that’s the last thing we need.” Surprisingly, later that day we found out Abigail was right! God sure has a sense of humor and now I know it was His perfect timing. My wife says the birth of Legend helped her cope with the death of Abigail. It is hard to imagine our life today without Legend in our family. He is truly a gift from God.

I can go on and on about the providence of God. From Abigail getting to see her little brother, EJ, being water baptized the Sunday before the accident to how church family came together during this whole ordeal. From God providing for my family while being hospitalized and to having a paramedic relate to us Abigail’s final moments. And so much more.

Where was God when I needed him? He was there and everywhere orchestrating this event for His glory and to show us His extravagant love. This is His providence for me.

Comeback next Message Monday when Ivette blogs “It Is Well”. Enjoy this video!

God Plus Nothing Equals Everything

During this time of year, we are looking for the steps or formula for a better life. Pastor Scott Adams reminds us of the most basic, but most powerful truth; God plus nothing equals everything.

Abigail understood this truth on May 1st 2013. Before she received the diagnosis, she knew at the scene of the accident this was her last day on earth. The spirit of the Lord gave her the courage to accept this outcome.

Death is not a simple thing to accept even for Christians. It is natural to want to live and to fear death. When I was about her age, I was goofing around with my brother and bang my head on the edge of the steam-pipe in our apartment back in Brooklyn, NY. My head was bleeding and my brother was taking me to the hospital. The whole time I was crying and saying over and over “I don’t want to die”. I was in no real danger of death and ended up having 12 stitches. The pain, sight of blood and scary feeling made me think it was the end.

There are two type of people who don’t fear death. The one who has nothing to live for and the one who understands and lives the truth that God plus nothing equals everything.

Life is not easy and it can get depressing. Some will welcome death so they don’t have to deal with it no longer. I knew this soldier back in the army. He had a good position, in excellent shape and seem to have it together. Sadly, one day he shot himself in the head. I was shocked. He believe the only way to escape was to take his own life.

Abigail loved life and she look forward to the future. The accident happened on Wednesday, two days later we were going to the beach. We invited one of her friends to join us the weekend. She was so excited about the trip. Also on her calendar, she wrote down on May 14th “The best birthday ever!” That’s right we were going celebrate her birthday in a couple of weeks. She would remind me it was her golden birthday, because her age will be same as her birthdate (14). That was then, this is now. About two weekends ago my wife read Abigail’s prayer journal. In it she express about having many children, writing books and being used greatly by God. This was a girl who was excited about the future, yet she was at peace to die.

God plus nothing equals everything. She didn’t embrace death and it wasn’t her escape. She embraced God. She knew her life was complete and lack nothing, because God fulfilled her life. She was ready to go with Him. This new year reflect on this truth. Put God first and you will never miss out on life. Pray these words with me.

Heavenly Father, I’ve been trying to find ways to fulfill my life. I thought possessions, the right people and better daily experiences will make me happy. Even if it last for decades it’s still only temporary, but knowing who You are and to help others to know You is truly a fulfilled life. I surrender my life to Your holy will. Jesus come into heart and make me Yours. Thank You for people like Abigail who set an example of living for You. I pray this In Jesus name, Amen.

If this is your first time saying this kind of prayer. Please let us know so we can pray for you and we’ll help you find a church where you can grow in your faith. God bless you.

It’s Not Over Until It’s Over

The Lord has told me to share my journey & be an open book.  This will help others know that the same Holy Spirit that is inside on me is inside of you.  You can also conquer whatever comes your way.  You can hear His voice & STAND no matter what knowing that He love you. YES! Even if my daughter went HOME with the LORD. It will ALL work out for the good in the end. Romans 8:28

First of all I didn’t do this on my own.  Jesus was a prime example that we need people in our lives.  With that said I had my Pastors, Family, Life-group, Friends, & the CHURCH.  They all came like an Army to surround my family.  Letting me know I am not alone.  Above ALL I have the Holy Spirit to comfort & guide me.

God has opened doors & will continue to do so for me to share.  I will share until my last day here on earth.  I have plenty to say & God is not even done with my story yet.  When He is done with my family everyone will know the love, mercy, grace, miracle, joy & peace of the Father. He always has a great plan for His children.  After the pain, long suffering, day to day struggle, & ALL the tears we will have the VICTORY for is already mine.

I am not perfect.  Every day is a battle in my mind that I have to overcome. I am a mess, but I am His beautiful mess.  My Master is so good to me.  He shows me how much He loves me every day.  Yes, He is into the details.  He makes sure I have the Grace & Peace beyond my understanding every day.

This is who I am.  I am Sayonara Ivette Vasquez daughter of the KING.  He will work everything out for good.  No need to ask questions, doubt, or worry.  God is on the throne & He can do whatever He wants. I gave Him that authority when I asked Him to be LORD of my LIFE.  Oh how He loves You & Me.

It’s not over until is over…

I might fall down, but I get back up

I will pull my weight, I push forward

Stand & fight, give it all I got

It’s not over until is over…

#Enjoy #MoreToCome #ThisIsBetterThanGossip! #Ivette J